Not Executive Enough

“But I’m not executive enough.”

Whoosh, all the air goes out of the room with that admission.

My client muttered it under her breath, reluctant to say it out loud, and yet relieved that the weight was finally off her chest.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard this.

And it’s definitely not the first time I’ve felt it myself.

What’s funny is, I’ve never heard this from people who are actually not yet at a certain level of leadership.

Every time, it’s from incredible leaders already operating at high strategic levels in deeply specialized fields like engineering, finance, legal, or strategy.

People who are every bit “executive enough.”

Yet this quiet gnawing eats at us:

- not loud enough

- not polished enough

- not assertive enough

- not quick enough

It's exhausting and draining. We seem to be chasing excellence, but what we're truly seeking is belonging.

But belonging isn’t something others grant you.

It begins when you claim your own ground.

This is totally an inside job. Which is great news - because you don't need to depend on anyone but yourself to make some amazing changes.

So the next time that thought creeps in, try this:

1. You first.

Before worrying how others perceive you, ask what you need to feel steady. Center yourself, take a walk, breathe, or reflect before reacting. Presence first. Why are you here? What matters here?

2. Start small, but start.

If a big room feels intimidating, start with one-on-one conversations. Build clarity and confidence through real dialogue. Influence grows from relationship, not volume.

3. Get clear on what’s at stake.

What decision, outcome, or value truly matters here? When you reconnect to purpose, the need to posture often fades.

4. Focus on learning, not proving.

Curiosity is magnetic. When you ask good questions and listen deeply, people see you as strategic, not tentative.

5. Lead from relationship.

Executives aren’t defined by how they speak at people, but by how they connect with them. Build trust first; authority follows.

When that inner critic whispers (or screams) “You’re not executive enough,” come back to these anchors.

You don’t need to be louder.

You need to be centered, connected, and clear.

That’s what real executives remember to practice every single day.

😎 Let's go radiate the heck out of this calm, intentional, executive energy.

Who's with me?

[Photo: San Francisco, CA, USA]